| What Do I Want?
I'm frustrated. I don't know why, but I've lost interest in just about everything.
So I haven't written an entry for a while...what has been going on?
Nothing, really. Except the above.
When I see people I know, we greet each other and ask the same question: "So, what's new?"
Due to my stubborn nature, I refuse to give the same answer about "school, midterms, etc."...
I try to be more open about it. I say that there is actually nothing of interest; that I wish my life was more interesting at the moment.
It's frustrating. I enjoy meeting people and associating with them. However, I'm worried. I can't do it anymore. I don't know why, I can't communicate with others anymore. I lose interest in all topics I can think of... unconsciously, I isolate myself. I don't want to create misunderstanding; it's not that I don't wish to interact with these people...I find I can't do it.
In my isolation, I try to find the source of my frustration. I try to enjoy simple pleasures. I watch movies, play games, read novels, enjoy a meal, nothing works, really. I bought a novel two weeks ago. It has sat on my bookshelf untouched for over a week, not even half finished. They are all merely distractions from my problem. As soon as I am no longer engaged in the activity, I am faced with my current dilemma once again.
I admit, I am not only frustrated. I am dissatisfied. I am lonely. I have somewhat isolated myself, willingly, to some extent. Yet, I am feeling the effects of this isolation.
I let my mind wander freely, but it goes nowhere.
Actually, I have been doing things besides distracting myself. I have been thinking. I have been dreaming. I look to the skies everyday, entranced.
What do I want? How do I find it?
As I am ready to hit the 'Save' button, I realize...
I want to be myself. I want to be a better self. |
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| 遲咗過半鐘,sorry!
由依家開始,我要:"1 day 1 shot"
即係每日寫個entry + post 一張相 (迫自己多D影相)
今日 (禮拜五) 既post:
聽日再寫
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| 考完喇
但係我諗我都係跟佢(張相既地盤佬)學野算.考得好x差呀x x x x x x x x x x x x !(&*^#&(*@UR@#IOK
Orz..................唉,連講粗口既心情都冇
P.S.
Proposal:
我想將 MOS 3372 既 course code改成 "MOS:餐餐食屎" |
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| Exam in 40 mins...
 !!!!
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